Screwed.edu
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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