am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
