babies were throwing up all over the place
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
