M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
