His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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