where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
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