I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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