the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
