No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
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