love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
