Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
