You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
