I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
