plz talk dirty to me
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
