I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
