u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
