Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
