It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
