my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Randomize
