Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Let's get the cat blown out
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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