Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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