every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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