Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
