Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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