All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Randomize
