Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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