i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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