More tranny stories later!
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
