Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
