So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
