I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
