Sponge bath it is.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
