Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
