nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
