Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
