You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
