the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
