i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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