32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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