I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I stole a fireplace last night.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
