Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Randomize
