Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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