I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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