Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
