Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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