Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Randomize
