# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
We smell like vodka and hangover
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
