i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
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