wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
