Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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