Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
